We Aren’t There Yet

Theo stared into the fire, bandages covering a fresh gash in his side that would certainly scar and his thoughts continued to race from the fight the previous night:

It should have been enough to have Primus help him!
Either I’m too weak to help, or Primus is too weak to help in any way that matters.
It can lead Suzette through a maze of meat, but refilling the pie plate or actually protection from the servants of its enemy, that’s too much to ask just yet.
Drugs were better than that, they helped me kill another one of those monsters and save the others with me.
It guided my blade just fine, but I felt no safer as it came for me.
Maybe thats why it hated me so much, why it was so intent on chasing me down-

It doesn’t matter. It wasn’t enough.
We must feed it, honor it for what it must become, give it strength that it may give us strength.
The handful of us isn’t enough to steer it quickly and the time seems to be coming sooner than we might want.
We need the others to do the rites, to make the offerings, to make it powerful enough to protect us.
I don’t know enough about ritual to do that, maybe Cole can explain some of it? Alphonse is probably better at it, but he is far too distracted to be helpful.
What can we do with that….memory, truth, legacy, a defender of the downtrodden, and avenger of wrongs. Something that will defeat the adversary.
I feel like I’m just waiting for the elf to betray us and yet I no so little about making a god that I can only screw it up I think.
Funniest thing about belief I’ve learned, thinking you’re going to screw it up is probably just as bad as actually screwing it up.

Fuck.

I guess we’ll get everyone to something and see where that goes.
I do believe that my family will be safe, that we will figure it out in the end, it just comes all too quickly and damned does this still hurt.
Who knows if another sacrifice would have made the difference.

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