I watch Ana boil a large pot of water, her hair gathered up out of the way, sleeves rolled up. The leather folder open in my lap warming as I wait for her to fill the wood basin at my feet. The joints of my ankles ache, like the joints in my knees and hands, my hips. The cold has always bitten me hard, despite my preference for it to heat. I know I should be writing a letter home, informing my father of what’s occurred, asking for support, anything useful. But my hand is instead turned to lackadaisical musings. The branded man Skarde asked about my cane, about what great battle brought about its use. I wish I had some great answer. Unfortunately I only have what my mother told me when I was small to ease my mind about how sharp the pains in my body could get.

I’m pleased to be working for the town in an official capacity. I think I’ll enjoy working with Viktor, he has quite the sense of humor, which does make work go faster at any rate. And I think it will be a good chance to examine areas I’m weak in. Always Learning.

Even musing I keep turning to business, like a crutch.

I had tried to be…open about this with Mother Superior Solace. I think we’re friends? At least friendly. Maybe Lady Callistra too? But it feels hard to know. I think they would not mind if I talked about my thoughts? But its so hard to know when its safe. The wolfpack would not understand, they’ve always had each other. And I think they mostly speak in punches, which is…not how I speak at all.

How to people make friends so quickly? How do they share things so soon to build such a friendship?

Ah….Ana is done with the water. Hopefully the heat loosens my ankles, I’d like to be able to walk without hobbling.

(the paper with these musings is quickly fed to the hearth)