Category: Journal Entry

I can’t sleep again. The town is too noisy, too unfamiliar. My back still aches from burying the dead, I’m sure the Friar is just as exhausted as I am. But still…no sleep. The fatigue creeps in and whispers sweet temptation in my ear, but when I lie down, in this new bed, in this new place- nothing. It’s infuriating.

I think I liked the nightmares more than this. It feels like my skin is buzzing. Too many questions, too many things to do. It’s unceasing. I would have gone to the pack’s lodgings but I still…don’t quite know how to talk to them, and I would have felt terribly rude if I’d woken the Lords. So I went to Luqa’s grave- poor soul- and sat by it until the sun rose. I didn’t say anything at his funeral. I don’t think there was anything I could have said, not then. But by the water, when the world was sleeping, I asked if he felt at peace. Or if there was something left behind, undone. The dead often leave so much behind. I will too, whenever Sveas claims me.

How does anyone relax in this town? How does anyone accomplish anything? How do I sleep, deathlike and dreamless, until I don’t ache all over and my mind is clear?

There is an old book in the Chasseur family. François Chasseur had called it his grandpappy’s War Journal. Of course, if he had paid just a bit more attention, he would have known that *his* grandpappy had called it the same thing. There really was no telling how old the thing was. The paper was wrinkled, and of a deep brown that felt delightful to the touch. The leather was of an even darker brown and had the dry look of well cared for leather that should have long since turned to dust. The writing had been in charcoal, and much had faded over the years. None in the Family could remember how to sound the letters, but they all liked to look at it from time to time and pretend. Henri’s recollection of his Uncle before he’d left for military work included a wide array of the book being brandished and thumped for emphasis, spouting tales of knights battling great monsters of old.

The dirty figure hunched over it ran a filthy fingernail over the page lovingly, imagining in the complexity of his mind’s eye, that the words made sense.

** … we have chased the beast through the wood and into the hills. Its voice drive them to madness. I swear to the Almighty God, in whom I have entrusted my soul, never have I witnessed such horrors. It spoke of hunger, and we were hungry. Some of the men turned on each other, eating of their flesh and drinking of their blood. Their minds warped; there was no saving them after. Their screams haunt my dreams. The bliss in their eyes as they chewed the intestines of their children haunt me. There can be no redemption after such things. I pray to God for forgiveness for what I have seen and done in this war.

We have sealed the beast in with the sacred rites. The King has decreed…**

He knew what it said, in his heart he knew. It was talking about a dragon sitting atop a horde, and the brave knights that slew it. Something noble and pretty, like his when the girls dance in the spring with flowers in their hair. A smile splits the weathered face of the man. He dips a corner of the rag into the shallow dish of water and gently rubs it along the page to pull off the words. Gently, he blows on the page to dry it once more. Then the tip of charcoal touches the page and he closes his eyes.

“How den dat go? La-th-eye-a had a youngin’ fer a king, who was called Benny-lass. Benny-lass raised up as a king of this scary city, was protector of them bad religions and their exotic rites. La-th-eye-a had cults with great wealth to its king for dis protection of der sacred places where their differen’ worship could do their endless circle of sacrifice and orgy,” he said with his brow furrowed. “Alright den.”

The charcoal tip started to draw simple images. Lethia was a tower with a halo. Benalus was lion in a crown. There is a pause. This was a young king. The image is wiped away, and the tip drew a lion in a crown without a mane. A shield comes after the lion cub in a crown. Then three simple robes wearing spiked halos. Then a coin. Then an alter with a robed figure behind it.

It felt good to write down the good book. The dirty figure smiled as he accented the halo over the lion.

“Das good,” he said, feeling warm inside.

Sven bent armored knees to pluck an apple from the cold hands of a Cold Hand. He polished it on the corpse’s coat before he tilted his head to examine the face of the dead man. His eyelids were unnaturally puffed, lips swollen and blue, and the tip of a tongue protruded from his mouth grotesquely. Poison was a miserable way to die. The first bite of the apple is delightfully sweet as the knight straightened.

“Troels,” he said, speaking around the fibrous fruit currently occupying his mouth. “How sits the tally?”

Finally, he wrests his eyes away from the blue-hued corpse to the commander of his forces.

“Just over five hundred dead,” he says, sniffing in a disapproving way at the poisoned body. “Including… them.”

Sven nods, taking another bite and munching slowly.

“Our losses?” he asks, swallowed and took another bite.

“Some wounded, but they’ll recover. All still capable of fighting, but I’d give the spears a chance to catch their breath,” he carefully schooled the disapproval off his face before the knight before him could see it. They were both of the Bear Hide and had strong opinions on forth-right action. Sven took the tally in stride and nodded before tossing the remains of the apple on the corpse he’d taken it from.

“We won’t have much rest, I’m afraid. We need to press east hard to get to this land bridge before winter falls upon us,” he says, wiping juice from his mouth with the back of a hand and turning back towards his troops. They had hit hard and utterly destroyed this force before they were even aware they were under attack. Laying in wait, as they had been, had blinded them to the Imperial force’s approach. All the better, really. Hard marching troops through unpatrolled woods was typically a recipe for disaster.

Troels for his part nodded, accepting the necessity.

“We will need to find a secure footing before winter snows fall, my Lord. Or cut the Southerners loose,” he said. They were both keenly aware that the northern winters were debilitating to the Gothics in their ranks. The knight just shrugs without answering.

“Find me a rider. Sir Ingvar’s forces are some miles to the West handling the rest of the Unseen’s forces. I wish to know how they fared. Ask if there is any word from the Avalanche and his boys with their orc fiasco,” Sven intoned, striding out of the killing fields towards his horse. Troels snaps a salute and turns on his heels, barking orders to those soldiers too foolish to see the foul mood that had claimed him.

A few men helped Sven mount the armored warhorse before he heeled away and made a slow cantor to the servants setting up his tent. What old age and countless battles had taught the grizzled knight was this: there was no honor in war. There was only the living and the dead. In duels? In boasts? In Courtly love and politics? There, much honor could be found. Far from this… slaughter. What difference did it make to these men whose blood soaked the earth, to die from sword or spear or poison? What difference did it make, if Sven had loudly declared to them that he brought troops against them and to form ranks for the charge? They were just as dead. And the dishonorable action of one knight had likely saved hundreds of lives.

No. The ‘honorable’ war was one quickly lost. To survive, you needed to understand just how far your enemy was willing to go to kill you, then go further to make him die. Always have one more knife than your enemy believed you to possess. Never let them take your full measure. The first priority of any battle was to survive. The *second* was to kill the enemy. And the third was to weaken your true opponent sufficiently that politics can resume. War without a political exit was doomed to extend forever.

So he would teach the Rimelands just who it was they faced. Just how brutal he could be. And when enough of the Clans had been put to the sword, the others would capitulate. And once again, there would be peace. He would make the very thought of raising a sword against the Empire so disgusting, so horrifying, that the Rime would gleefully abandon their horrific monstrosities they had enslaved themselves to.

Then, they would all find warmth and love in the kind and gentle embrace of the Emperor and the kind and gentle redemption of Benalus.

“A thought so sweet, I just may weep,” he grunts to himself with a laugh as he heels his mount to greater speeds.

“So then Vindicta smiled and said it was one of the best gifts she’d ever gotten and it just lit my heart right up. It was nothing in comparison to the thrill of seeing Vindicta with… get this, you ready? MY SISTER. I set them up. Lot to explain, but it avoids a rebellion I think and the two other houses will have valuable positions, everyone can win, and most importantly… Lady Dragomir And my sister look absolutely adorable together. What would you have called them? Vinistra? Callictra? I don’t know how you came up with good couple names. This is why you were the attraction mage…” Solfyre laughs, but tears begin to fall down her cheeks, “I often wonder where I would be if you were still around. If I hadn’t failed you. Hasn’t stopped me from failing others.. I really try… no one wants to listen to me… and when they don’t and they get hurt or killed, I hurt. Just like with you, the priests love to tell me I can’t atone for things like that. I swear I try… Should have been a fucking air mage. You’d think I was an insubstance mage with the way people have ignored me. Oh oh—unless they want to feel holier than thou—then they have absolutely no problem telling me how I was wrong, even if I asked or pleaded for alternatives to be considered or taken into action. Mostly the issue is that I don’t have a penis, it turns out. You’ve said it before. If I had a penis, I could also be an accusatorial hypocrite and still feel justified. Glory to a wizard and his ‘staff’ of authority. I’m glad my sister gets it. You would have adored her… probably would have liked her more than me,” Solfyre lets out a laugh but it’s choked off by light sobbing. She does her best to regain composure.

“Vindicta gets it too I bet. Really any woman with some semblance of station or power has dealt with it…fuck… I keep getting sidetracked…”

Solfyre wipes her eyes with her sleeves. She stumbles a bit on a tree root but catches her balance and continues her wandering.

“Anyways, Elgi… I think I’ve mostly caught you up now. I was hoping to see you again soon. I’ll bring the cake. Your birthday is not far out and while I don’t think you can eat it… well… it’s the thought that counts. You can always come to my birthday too. I’m sure Callistra and I will plan something. This will be our first birthday together since we were born,” she sniffles and smiles towards the skulking monstrosity still meandering her way.

“You said you’d always be there… you said you’d always be there…” it repeats over and over. It’s voice is only loud enough to be heard. The farther she gets, the louder and more pained it calls out.

Solfyre does her best to smile through tears and a tightly clenched jaw. “I love you. I miss you. Perhaps one day when we win this war, when I have annihilated those who took you from me… maybe then I will embrace you. Then you can be at peace. We can be at peace. I’d like nothing more than that… but I’m not ready to let you go yet, El. I’m… I’m so sorry.”

Holding up an herb with a lovely purple bloom, she sets it alight and blows the sweet smelling ashes towards what remains of her best friend before turning and running.

The cries of the creature call out to her as if pained as she turns and quickly weaves her her way through the woods. Her lungs and eyes burn by the time she no longer hears it’s voice and finally alone, she straightens out her attire, smooths out her hair, squares her shoulders and walks towards Runeheim with a smile on her face.

Ragnar had finally recovered from his many injuries at the last forum, and just in time to visit Runeheim again. He chuckled slightly then frowned, how many times had he been through this very same song and dance? Fight, lose but live, recover, and repeat. His life had been a never ending series of battles, not unusual for someone like him, what was strange was how he kept surviving, he’d greeted death more time than he’d care to count, but somehow Ragnar managed to avoid taking that final step. At first he thought it was luck, but no one was that lucky, then he thought it might have been skill but his branding taught him that wasn’t the case, a skilled person wouldn’t have fallen as he did. And so it was then that Ragnar settled upon the reason, stubbornness, he was simply too stubborn to die, every obstacle in his life had been bested not by skill, or luck, or even divine intervention. No every problem Ragnar solved was solved with gritted teeth and painful repetition. Ragnar’s thoughts now drifted into the events at Runeheim the people he’d met and those he’d lost. Perhaps it was over stating to call Rolf a friend, but he supposed the man wouldn’t mind what he though anymore. He couldn’t stop thinking of his friends last request of him, “Do great things.” It was a request he intended to fulfill, but how? Rolf had fought the old gods and worked to slay them and free his people, and he’d done it better than Ragnar ever could have, there were others who would continue that work. But all of this was a farce, Ragnar knew what it was he would. He simply feared what it would cost him. There was more than one kind of Tyranny in the north, and just as there were those that fought the old there must be those who faced the new. Ragnar stood, letting the aches and pains of a life well lived settle into him, he would face it with a Broken body, but an Unbroken spirit

[[[Good Evening!

Hope you enjoyed this beautiful sunny day, it’s been hot lately but this morning was just the right amount of crisp that I think Autumn is approaching.

It’s been a while since I’ve written to you, I apologize sincerely. I’ve been thinking about you lately, especially here in Runeheim. You should see how everyone gets along, you would enjoy it. I’ve met so many interesting individuals, I think you would also like them a lot. The people here seem really friendly and willing to help each other, there is no animosity I can see and that makes it easier to work alongside them.

Lady Dragomir is as kind as ever and oh! I haven’t told you but I got to save an inquisitor from dying! It was really terrifying at first because they were bleeding everywhere and everyone was looking at me like I knew what I was doing but I didnt! Well I mean it was my first time but I gained some confidence from it. You would be proud! When they coughed for the first time showing signs of life…well that was something special. It ignited a spark in me to learn more about it to save more people.

Oh oh! I also talked to a dwarf! Can you believe that?! Remember how I said I had always wanted to talk to one? Well it finally happened! They seemed funny, like they didn’t quite understand how humans work but I can’t blame them. Most people speak in codes and I don’t know why, I think you should just say what you mean. I liked them because they said what they meant.

The work of transferring our history into books is going well, I know this was entrusted to me and I don’t take it for granted. I do miss you though. A lot. I remember the last time we spoke you told me to be useful and I have taken these words to heart. I am trying my best to do all I can to make you proud.

I’ll promise to write to you sooner this time, I don’t want you to forget about me.

Love,
Heimir ]]]

He squinted his eyes as he signed the letter with his name, the sun was setting which made it harder to see with just the candle light shining dimly in the corner of his desk.

After giving his signature one last flourish he smiled, folding it over and pouring some wax over the folded edge.

He stretched gingerly as the wax ended up drying and as soon it was ready he got up from his desk and kneeled in front of his bed pulling a small chest. Heimir opened the chest, hundreds of letters sealed just like the one he had made and put his most recent one on top before closing the chest and pushing it under his bed again.

In one forum I doubled my wealth. from one knife to two.

staring into the fire the forums events kept playing on loop.

—
“Just put the money on the ground” hissed an unsteady voice. “Now back away. Back AWAY!” she shouted, knife held to the child’s throat.
—
“Where are you going Kanut?” the voice reverberated though area “Did you bring me tasty Meat?”.
—
“Take him in to custody” Lady Vindicta pronounced.
—
The world swirled in colors, magic hidden glowing into sight, Ancient Shade coming into sharp Contrast.
—

“Still in your own head?” Clements voice spoke over the crackling fire. “You wont find answers there, Rumination is like rocking in a chair. It gives you something to do but gets you no where”

“I’m more worried about what sticks in my mind and what does not.” Kicking the burlap sacks sitting beside me. “Those should probably make me more uncomfortable than the rest”.

“I am twice as wealthy as I was last forum, and yet I now have a myriad of problems” Sigurd deadpanned.

“Myriad?” Clements mused.

“Just because I cant mark it in ink does not mean I don’t know what it means Clements”

“Fair, enough Sigi” Clements assuaged. Glancing down at the burlap sacks Clements ask the question that had been hanging in the air. “What are you going to do with those.”

“Take a leaf out of your book Clements, Teach a lesson.” Standing Sigurd looked over to Clements across the fire. “Kanewt will not be here next forum to ease the lesson. In a way i’m glad he wont have to see it.”

Picking up the pair of burlap sacks, the knives weighed heavily at my belt. Twice the wealth, twice the trouble, a pair of heads in burlap sacks.

Milo crouched low, huddled within their dark dyed cloak and blending into the night. The grounds surrounding the Owls Nest were well illuminated even at night, forcing them to stay just outside the gates. That suited Milo just fine. They’d spent the last few days figuring out which room they would need to watch, and had a nice spot in a tree that they could see it clearly from. Milo relaxed a little as lights began going out in windows all around the castle. Just the relatively lax night shift now.

Milo’s mind wandered to the feasting grounds. What a shitshow. Two Convocations and both of them were trials. A town guard shot a guy in the chest point-blank. Their friend was knighted into the Templars by a sword. Shit like that didn’t happen other places. And that Melandihim… Milo let out a soft sigh. What had they gotten themself into?

They hugged their cloak tighter around their shoulders. It was nice to wear something they hadn’t put together for a change. Suzette did good work. And Fabron had really come through on those knives. Maybe this wasn’t all bad. Folks here were nice. Mostly at least. Some were assholes. Best not to dwell on that though. Milo would stay for a while longer. The cat was already out of the bag with Ludovic, anyways. Hopefully he wasn’t one of the assholes.